Steps back, and lots of makeup

After a good start to my “transformational plan,” the last couple of weeks have been a little rough.  Though she is behaving more respectfully, something in my wife’s attitude seems to have shifted.  Though her actions and words toward me continue to improve, her posture and outlook have ceased to be positive.  We have only had sex once since something changed, and she has not been sitting with me as closely.  She doesn’t smile so much.  If I had to describe how she has behaved, I would choose the words “brittle” and “nervous.”  She is “brittle” because she always seems to be a little irritated about something, but she won’t say what it is.  She doesn’t seem to be irritated at me, but rather at something else in general.  I would say she is acting nervous or scared as she just seems to be on edge around me.
The biggest change, though, has been in her attention to her appearance.  She is almost obsessing over it.  Every day, she spends a little more time on how she looks, and it has escalated to where fixing up her appearance is taking most of her free time in the morning.  I have never seen her wear so much make-up.  She has started scrubbing her face with multiple cleansers every day, whereas before she might have done this only once or twice a month with one of them.  She started using a cream to take away the bags under her eyes.  She has started putting her hair up.  She has always washed off her face before bed with a special cloth, but now I am simply amazed at how much makeup comes off on it.  She is not quite in “Tammy Faye Bakker” territory (for those of you who remember who that is), but we’re getting there.
Now that she is wearing so much makeup, I notice more how she looks when it is not on.  I have noticed that she is starting to show her age now more.  This is only natural, but up until now she could have easily passed for a much younger woman.
Yesterday, she was almost in tears when she told me she had put on 5 pounds in the last few weeks.  She had no idea how it had happened.  I have to agree; she is actually a very healthy eater, and almost never eats sweets or dessert.  I told her maybe it was a case of bloating or something, but she wasn’t consoled.
I have to say, I am really puzzled by all this.  The books warned me that working on myself would make her also improve her appearance, but this seems a little overboard.  I certainly hope that is what is going on; if I wasn’t expecting this, I would think she was trying to impress somebody at work.  That would certainly NOT be a good thing.
I just wish I could understand why her attitude got so cold again so quickly.  She got super-worked up over something really silly one night; she just went on and on about a plate my son had left out on the table.  After that, her attitude shifted.  I thought I was assertive enough, but maybe that wasn’t the issue.  To be nice, I was extra gentle the last time we had sex, as a kind of reward for being so nice; maybe that came off as submissive or something.  Then again, maybe it is something completely different.
At this point, it should be clear that I have lost some weight and have put on a little more muscle.  The other night we both noticed that several of my shirts were suddenly too small; she was sure they didn’t shrink in the wash.  I didn’t say anything, but I suspect my slightly-larger chest is now too big for them.
If I had to speculate, I would think she noticed my physique getting better, and tried to improve her own.  From there, I am guessing she realized how much she has aged, and is having a mini-crisis over it.  She is now desperately trying to fix it, and she’s getting depressed about it.  Maybe she is not even thinking about me.
Since the argument about the plate, she has stopped sitting next to me at night, and we’re back to the frosty grumble about needing “time for herself” and not wanting to spend her day off with me.  In other words, ignoring me for TV and the Internet.
The stupid thing about all of this is that the solution to her woes with me would be just to treat me better and show me physical affection.  I could love her enough to help her through this, if she would let me.
This whole thing has been a real downer.  A few days ago, I considered being more obvious about my better appearance, in order to maybe shake her out of this funk.  Now, I have decided subtlety and patience are a better approach.  I definitely don’t want to “rub her face” in it.  Her sister is coming to stay with us in a few weeks, and I have decided I will rock the boat a little then.
I really like her sister a lot.  Her sister’s husband has, once again, become suddenly unemployed, and I know this is making her anxious and disappointed with him.  The last time he was out of work he stayed unemployed for months and months, only getting a job two weeks before his very generous unemployment insurance finally ran out.  If there is one thing on the “man-worthiness” scale I can do, it is provide for my family, if not spectacularly, at least well-enough.  What’s more, he doesn’t exactly stand up to her well.  She constantly pushes his buttons to get a reaction, and instead of just blowing up and getting on with things, he gets himself worked up and irritated, which probably doesn’t make her respect him as much.  He isn’t a bad guy at all, and I like him a lot.  I certainly would not do anything to endanger their relationship.  However, she should be ripe for a little positive encouragement from me.
A couple of years ago, I suspect she was hinting that she wanted to take on some “extra activities” with me during another rough patch with her hubby, if you know what I mean.  I didn’t take her up on them.  I was almost tempted to try again this trip; at least I would know I could have sex on or near my anniversary (ha ha).
What I will do is to pay extra attention to my sister-in-law.  I won’t flirt with her, much less cheat on my wife with her.  I am just going to subtly, and at times not-so-subtly, show her some extra positive interaction.  A little extra smile her, a nod there, and a few extra minutes listening to an otherwise boring story will go a long way.  I’ll make more casual contact physically; nothing to be creepy or “touchy-feely,” but just a little something to get someone’s attention.  I will touch her arm a little more, and maybe put my hand on her back for a brief moment now and then.  At the same time, by the time she gets here, I should be noticeably slimmer and more fit, if all goes according to plan.  She has not seen me in some time.  In her current state, I would bet my sister-in-law will react very well to some extra time spent by me.  At the same time, I will be a little cold and detached with my wife.
My wife is prettier than her sister, but her sister is younger, has a much better figure, and has really big tits.  Also, her sister is very successful professionally, something my wife cannot say.  Occasionally, I notice there is a little uptick on the jealousy meter from my wife when talking about her sis.
Hopefully, my wife’s sister will react well to me.  My wife’s emotions will get triggered on two fronts.  One, the positive attention from another woman will make her naturally think better of me.  Two, maybe she will get a little threatened by this, and realize she has a better lot in life than she thinks.  Nothing makes my wife treat me better than having another woman pay attention to me.
I hope no one will think this is very cold, calculated, and manipulative.  I am simply trying to turn the tables on her.
In the meantime, I will keep up trying to be assertive, more cool, and keep up the physical fitness routine.  I have decided to do at least 30 minutes of good, solid exercise every day from now on.