Too much hurt...

The last few days have been frustrating.  The missus has had a rough work schedule, which never puts her in a good mood.  I joined a sports team that plays on Monday nights, which is when I normally drive my son to a club he belongs to.  I have been driving him there for six years.  My wife attempted to chew me out over the fact that she would have to drive him there; it's five minutes away.  I don't think there was really any point to her anger except that she didn't want to do it.  I was so angry I was ready to just walk out for good.
She later backed off, which I've noticed she will do if I actually get really angry about something.  However, it just got me thinking.
If you've been reading my blog lately, you know I've been trying to improve myself to make myself more attractive (for lack of a better word) and masculine around her.  I've created a self-imposed deadline, which should be about the time I have become a lot more fit, of when her behavior needs to change for good.  As of now, I don't see that happening.
I got to thinking, though:  what if she does change?  Will I still want her?  After all she has put me through, if there is a good chance I could find someone else who is younger, more pleasant, and more like me, would I stick with someone who has hurt me for so long for so many years?
I am not saying I would cheat on her, or even actively start looking for someone else, but this decision might not be so easy if I think I can get someone new.  The guilt, though, might be too much.
My fitness plan is going well on some levels, not so well on others.  After a couple of months of a restricted diet, I am really hungry and sick of drinking tap water.  My weight loss has not progressed much, particularly since I switched to more weight lifting.  On the plus side, for once I actually have some muscles (no, I am not trying to brag).  The other day at a restaurant, I could feel my chest poking the table; it felt kind of like having small boobs.
I have always said that any woman trying to pick up someone at a gym is not going to look for a man like me.  To my surprise, over the last couple of weeks I have noticed that there have been a half-dozen women -- and one dude -- who may have given me a second glance.  Of course, they have all been ugly, overweight, badly aged, or a combination of those things, but it is a change.  (The younger ones have been really ugly).